A Dumb Story



Dave's Halloween

Hi my name is Dave. I am in Eighth Grade and I hate girls. Unlike some of my friends, this is a strict rule to me, and I follow it down to: not going near a girl and dances are forbidden (I do have my dark side too). People say I can have any fun that way but I have my own fun. I like explosives, melting lead, and artillery. I don't have any friends that agree on everything but I have some friends that are okay to be around with when the economy is low. There's Mike who is very smart and we both like computers and virtual reality , though he does boast when he kills me at video games. Mosquito who is a good friend, but he been acting strange lately like: going to dances and drawing mazes. Chris who is a friend at times. Ron who is another friend who can't keep his hat on. And Liz I don't like much, mainly because she's a girl. Oh, I forgot my brother Derek. There is also a person named Cassandra who is an total idiot. A while ago my friends conned me into going to a dance and I was sucked on a spaceship. That was cool because I broke into the alien artillery room and blew some aliens away. I almost saved the day when Mike showed up in the an alien craft he stole and brought us back. He does ruin my fun sometimes. I probably should get on with my story. I was in my artillery room building a bomb when there was a knock on the door. That startled me and the bomb exploded. Luckily it was too big. Then I remembered the door.
"Who is it?" I asked.
"Open up!" someone demanded.
This wasn't what I expected. So I said "Why should ...", but before I could finish the door burst open and these strange creatures grabbed me. I tried to struggle but there were too many and they had super human strength. In their ship they tried to communicate with me but they needed a translator. So they gave me an ear contraption so I would understand them.
"I want to know where your friend live." said one creature.
"I'll never tell you, you subterranean slimeball." I screamed.
"That's too bad." said the creature. Then it tried to put something in my mouth but I held it shut. They held my nose so I breathed through the side of my mouth. They took advantage of this and shove the thing in my mouth. It dissolved immediately and it tasted like sour milk. My vision went from blue to red to black. I didn't know if I was asleep or dead.
I was flying over fields and mountain ranges but suddenly I started to fall. Farther and farther I fell until I was two feet from the ground then I woke up. I was in a dark room.
"HELLO!" I shouted.
"HELLO, hello, hello" my echo said.
"Hello, is someone there?!" said a familiar voice.
"Who are you? I'm Dave" I said.
"It's Mike. Mosquito, Chris, Ron, and Liz are here to. Where did you come from?" said Mike.
"I just woke up. Where am I? How did you get here" I asked.
"We're in a dark room. These creatures just grabbed us and brought us here." said Mike.
"They must have gone into my mind when they gave me that pill." I said.
"How did you get here?" asked Mike.
"Well, I was playing with a bomb." I started.
"That's sick." interrupted Mike.
"Shut up Mike! I was playing with a bomb and these creatures grabbed me and asked me where you lived, And I didn't tell them. They put me unconscious, and now I'm here." I explained.
"Well how are we going to get out?" asked Mike.
"Well...um...ah...remember the bomb I was talking about?" I asked.
"Yah." answered Mike.
"Well I have another one." I said "Stand back. KABOOM! The wall was torn open. Everyone ran out. Outside the room there was these strange alien creatures. They didn't look anything like the other creatures. They had one eye, two noses, and three mouths. I took a spare grenade and blew up the aliens. Then I blew a hole in the side of the ship. It was titanium so I had to find another way out. Then I noticed a guard. I shot him and went out the door and that led everyone back to their own houses.
The End
Another Dumb Story

Warning! This story was banned from a school I went to's
newspaper for being "contrversial".
Contains Boring Content.



Characters

Dooingdumbus (Dum) - Captain of the Pinta
To-chee - The cook
Blue-beard (Blue) - retired pirate
Joe               }
Betty-Lou (Lou)   }
Moe               }
Larry             }
Curly             } Shipmates
Port-a-John (John)}
Xamollie (Xam)    }
Amydusa (Amy)     }
Tony              }
Keesneuf (Kees) - Alien king
Ooiana - Leader of the Sea Nymphs
Dr.Flame (Burnt) - Chaheygn
Mosquito (Buzz) - Chaheygn
Dooingdums (Doos) - Stupid little dancing pachicos, including
	 Fred and Gramps
The fox - a beggar
The zombie - a zombie
The knome - a knome
The liar - a liar
Chief Sepota (Sepota) - Indian chief
Motania - Indian princess




                    


 
    Scene 1
         It is July 5, 1492 in the mid-Atlantic. Three ships
	 float silently on the ocean. 

Dum      (Looking at Joe on the mast.) See any land yet?!

Joe      Nay? Just water!

         1 hour later

Lue      Capin! Yi se land! Yi se land!

Dum      What?! Iceland?! What the heck are we doing there?!

Lue      Na! Land! Land!

Dum      Oh! Land!...Where?!

Lue      Oder dare! Oder dare!

Dum      What?! That's a cloud! (Dooingdumbus throws Betty-Lue
	 overboard.) Good riddance.  

         Meanwhile down in the cabin.
         
To-chee  Com a get ie! Get yo col foo!

Blue     Feed me Mouth!

To-chee  Leesin yo fot bubber brain...

         A thump is heard on deck.

Dum      (In a crying state) My son! My son!

John     What happened?

Dum      My son was hit by a meteor...Oh well I never liked him any way.

         Suddenly more meteors started falling. Then the meteors
	 opened  up. They were really small aliens. 
	 
	 Soon a laser gun war started. Fwing! Zoom! Zap! The aliens
	 killed Moe,Larry,and Curly and took the rest to Keesneuf. 

Kees     Ah! Pitiful humans. I see you at last.

Dum      Die Keesneuf!

Kees     Not quite.
Dum      NOT!

         Dooingdumbus killed the ruler and fled with his men
	 (and women). At his ship he resumed course.
              y                       h                             a
         Oooooeeeeeaaaaanaoooooeeeeeaaaaana
           h             x                  oa                  r
         Singing was heard in the distance.

Tony     What the heck was that?!

         A sea nymph climbed on board.

Ooiana   Come humans and live with me and my nymphs.

         Ooiana and her nymphs turned into raccoons and flew away with
	 the  crew. Dooingdumbus was listening  to his walkman so he didn't go. 

         The raccoons dropped Xamollie and Amydusa who swam to the boat.
	 The raccoons put the rest of the crew on a barge.      

Ooiana   Ha! Ha! Die! (releasing hydrogen bombs on them)


         Raccons don't have wings so they fell in the water and died

Dum      (Back on his ship) Sail on!

         They see land and go on it


    Scene 2
Xam      Land! Land!

Dum      (Kissing the sand) Pwwwtht! Yuck! I can't believe people do this!

         Dooingdums approach them

Doos     What strange people...Come and we will tell you a story.
                     
         Once there were some dooingdums. They wanted some use in life
	 except being stupid dancers. So they marched on. They met a zombie
	 in their path.

Zombie   I need you brain.

Doos     We're too stupid.

         So the marched on. Soon they met a knome.

Knome    Greece and Rome I'm a knome.

Doos     Shut up and die!  (Bang Bang) Oh pardon.

         So they marched on. Then they met two tee-pees. A T.V.
	 was heard in one.

Doos     Eeeeeeevil

         So they went in the other one.

Burnt    Ah...Ah...Ah un peu!...Oh pardon mon français.

Doos     Do we have any meaning?

Burnt    First of all WHO ARE YOU?!

Doos     We are dooingdums

Burnt    (Thinking "Yeah right") Sure you do. You could join our army.

Doos     Sure!

Gramps   Let's go!

Fred     I think we forgot something.

         Soon they met a fox

Fox      Pray you give me a little food.

Doos     What do we look like a restraunt?!

         So they marched on. Then they met a liar.

Liar     Let's play a game. Whoever tells the truth first dies. Okay?

Gramps   You start first.


Liar     I grow wheat 7 feet tall

Gramps   I grow wheat so tall you can't see the top.

Liar     I have such a big house I haven't explored all of it yet.

Gramps   I have such a big house 132 servents have gotten lost in it.

Liar     I saw Kennedy get shot.

Gramps   I saw Kennedy, Lincoln, Garfield, and McKinly get shot. 
	 When Kennnedy got shot a bullet shot of my little finger.
	 It grew back but meanwhile two rats grew to the size of 
	 dogs and ate my son. Twelve years later they died and I
	 buried them. Soon an oak tree grew there. On it were two nuts.
	 In one was my son. In the other was the devil himself. He took
	 me up and showed me your mother and shook the dandruff out of
	 her hair. 

Liar     My mother didn't have dandruff.

Gramps   I won! Ha! Ha! Die! (Bang Bang)

         An army was in the distance.  

Doos     Yippy! It's war

Gramps   Where's the weapons?

Fred     I knew we forgot something.

Doos     Run home!

Burnt    You have failed me.

Doos     Yes but...

         Suddenly a volcano erupted and killed every one.
                     
Doos     There's our story.

Dum      Dumb story! DIE! (Bang Bang)

         A while later

Dum      Who's that?

Amy      I don't know! 

Sepota   IT ME...CHIEF SEPOTA. Here's my card. Do you want to 
         here a story?

Dum      NO!

Sepota   Motania! Get my pipe!

Motania  Yes father.

         Motania falls in a tarpit and is eaten by a turkey.

Sepota   Where is she?...Oh well I'll have to use my old pipe.
         (Suck Suck) Haaaaaaarlk Bleeeechk 

         Sepota died from tobacco smoke. Then a comet hit earth
         and killed everyone else.

  The End