Bob the grasshopper visits Turd at the bar.
Turd: Hey little guy, aren't you a cricket?
You might be a Redneck if..someone says you have something stuck in your teeth and you take them out to see what it is.
Turd is dared to go into a stall with a boombox, and play a long bathroom noise montage of liquid dripping, which all was followed by a ka-plunk and then a baby crying. Just to see peoples reactions. Too bad I didn't hear what happened.
The Truth: Giving Clinton's where-abouts was considered a national security issue. Right, this is only to cover up his tracks so he won't get caught. Past tense people.
Another phone scam about carpets. He called a motel and asked if he could buy crapets, and when the answer
was 'no', he kept talking to the person on the phone for ten minutes, and she never hung up even though
it was a wrong number.
Robotic arms are possible. They can attach a platic outer hand to an arm and then have motions controled by what is left of your arm.
Pigs are close to being able to donate organs for human use. They contain some human gene that will enable
us to accept the organ rather than go into delayed hypersensitivty and reject it.
"The Truth" was about Clinton again and how the public school system has brainwashed the general public into
not knowing the difference between a dumb worthless president and a dumb worthless president. Click
here for the full "Truth".
How Phil Hartman really died. This will probably be in the papers either Tuesday or Wednesday. The was some woman in hollywood, making shameful money if you know what I mean, who was also addicted to coccaine. Phil Hartman fell in love and tried to set her straight but she started hanging out with the old crowd later on, so BANG. I forget the rest
The spice girls have found a replacement for Ginger Spice. Cheetos has payed a large promotional fees to have Chester Cheesto(a guy in a costume) to finish off the tour.
How Frank Sinatra eat a Reeses:
How Phil Hartman eats a Reeses:
How Christopher Reeve eats a Reeses:
How Ellen Degenerous eats a Reeses:
Turd and Puppet decided to have a fight and were going to go down to the local dojo to battle it out. Turd is 250+ lbs, and Puppet is a 3 ft. midget that knows martial arts. I never found out how that turned out though, b/c I had to leave my car.
More talk of summoning demons came up. They plan to try to summon a demon so they can interview it on the show. The secondary idea is to give an idea of what hell's like and convert them to God, somewhat like how the excorcist movie did.
Somewhere he did a phone scam where he called a carpet cleaner and asked if they cleaned car-pets, as in
pets in a car. While doing this he pretended to be a retarded guy having a poodle named Bobby. The woman tried
to act nice but just got tired of it and the woman hung up after Mancow started acting very strange.
anyway, should we not strap in, not go to school, carry guns everywhere, go 90 in a 35 zone, bring bombs onto an airplane,
but we don't need the "higher powers" telling us that we must do
these things. Personally, I do strap in, go to school, try to do well,
don't do drug, or smoke, don't go at insanely high speed on the road
or use harsh language, and could very well do those thing on my own
w/o people enforcing it. Sure there are times when I only do things
because I have to, and that's the problem when people abuse
freedom. just one case of these actions causes your luggage
to be searched and you insurance to go up from a ticket, and all this
stuff that makes me want to move to Denmark or someplace where
people behave because they want to, not because they have to.